Hipstre's History
September 4, 2010

Welcome to Hipstre’s History. If historical events were people, what would they be up to? Let’s celebrate History’s important birthdays.


35 - Old Enough to be President:

September 4, 1975 - Egypt and Israel sign The Sinai Interim Agreement, meaning that it’s Old Enough to Be President. And guess what? There’s been no war between Egypt and Israel in quite a long while. I guess the key is that it is an “interim agreement”, not a “treaty”. If the Sinai Interim Agreement is anything like me, it had a lot of fantasies about finally getting it’s act together and running for President the past few days. Don’t worry, you’ll get past it. And oh, by the way, you will never be President.


50 - Over the Hill:

September 4, 1960 - Damon Wayans, a person, is born. Having not died (except in the comedic sense) in the interval, this makes him 50 years old, and thus Over the Hill as I reckon things. It was only a few years ago when Wayans starred in a film in which CGI gave him the appearance of some kind of mutant infant. This is the sort of thing that makes one a millionaire, so don’t knock it.

Also Over the Hill today: The Indian guy from Soundgarden, Kim Thayil. You remember the video for Black Hole Sun? The one that introduced the world to Power Goo? It also taught America that behind the facade of innocence, Suburbia is a nest of LIES! The video for the song, by the way, is Old Enough to Drive. and features a little girl shoving a vanilla ice cream cone in her face, and later drooling melted ice cream down her chin as the singer intones, “Won’t you come? Won’t you come?” Try getting away with that today!

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She’s Old Enough to Drink now…


60 - Gettin’ Up There:

September 4, 1950 - Beetle Bailey makes his debut. Beetle was originally a college student. He dropped out of school in 1951 and joined the army, just in time for the Korean War. Somehow, despite being in the army the entire time, Beetle has managed to miss Vietnam, Grenada, Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan. The strip is still drawn by it’s creator Mort Walker, who had the great good fortune of turning 87 yesterday! That’s right, he’s a World War Two veteran who has been drawing the strip for sixty years.


An aside: Google is 12 years old today. If Google were a person, it would be tugging on your shirt saying, “I can solve the Rubik’s Cube real fast!” You would hand Google a Rubik’s Cube, and Google would say, “Yeah, but I don’t want to right now. Maybe later.” Then Google would run away chasing a butterfly. You wouldn’t trust Google with your car keys, because Google might just throw them in the creek for fun. You could get a bachelor’s degree in the time it will take before Google can get it’s driver’s license.


Yesterday … Tomorrow

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